The adolescence poses numerous challenges, both for children and the adults around them – parents and teachers alike. The well-being of our students and the entire community takes precedence, and we consistently seek resources to assist parents in being well-prepared and always supportive of their children, no matter how tumultuous the phases they go through.

With the assistance of Mrs. Maria Tănăsescu, a parent in the community and editor at ZYX Books, a publishing company focusing on emotional education titles, we hosted a workshop on campus titled “Whoops, adolescence!“, drawing a significant number of participants – parents and teachers – eager to discover how they can remain reliable allies for their children throughout this challenging period in their lives.

Starting from the book “Ups, pubertatea! Cum arată lumea adolescenților de azi și cum vorbim cu ei despre teme dificile / This Is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained,” written by Dr. Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennet, the two invited psychologists as speakers at the event – Yolanda Crețescu, clinically experienced psychologist working with adolescents, and Silvia Guță, psychotherapist and author – discussed the book’s themes and answered questions from parents.

Building on scientific information about puberty and the physical, mental, and relational changes it brings, the workshop extensively explored how the period of adolescence has evolved from our generation, to the generation of our children.

The two psychologists emphasised important aspects, noting that this period starts earlier, lasts longer, and occurs with a phone in hand, significantly altering the dynamics of things. Therefore, parents need to assume that what they did at 12, 15, or 18 years old, today’s youth are doing three years earlier. The differences between generations are immense and challenging to overcome, especially for parents.

Adding hormonal changes, sexual activity, low self-esteem, and body image to the narrative complicates the situation further for parents who aim to bring their children into their world rather than entering the children’s world. Without making a genuine effort to understand their needs and issues during this period, things become even more difficult.

“Young people in their teenage years are just like the adults, they are small humans. They face the same issues as adults, but they’re encountering them for the first time. HENCE, ADOLESCENCE MARKS THE ERA OF INITIAL EXPERIENCES. 

If you, as a parent, aim to connect with an adolescent, look back at how you felt and thought when you were their age, rather than solely focusing on your current emotions.” advises Yolanda Crețescu, psychologist.

KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THE WORKSHOP

Navigating adolescence is no easy feat. Adolescents struggle through these years as they seek independence and validation, experiencing immense mood swings and grappling with daily changes in their self-perception. It’s a tumultuous period where they might easily slide into eating disorders, and mental health issues may arise.

That’s why it’s important for them to feel safe regardless of what happens to them. No matter how challenging it is for parents to accept certain behaviours or attitudes, it’s crucial to stand by their children, provide explanations, and show them the imperceptible benefits. Being there for them in unpleasant situations (for parents), with patience and without judgement, parents can help their children more than they realise in the moment. Also, we must not forget for a moment that people are imitative, including teenage children. Therefore, the example set by parents remains a reference point for the child who will mimic the behaviour – whether positive or less so.

“We had some ‘aha moments,’ created by the frankness and openness with which the psychologists spoke to us – I felt several times that they were speaking directly to me, about my child. I particularly resonated with Yolanda’s speech, which often validated my feelings towards what my preadolescent child does and says, and even what I can or cannot do to support her.

I was left with the message that being a parent of a teenager ‘has’ to be difficult to be good, a validation that I think any conscious parent needs from time to time.” – is one of the testimonials received from a parent who participated in the workshop.